I want to write what I can't to say. Why Am I like that? Why can't I control myself, am I ever afraid for trying something? I didn't want to suffer, that’s why I decided to step myself away from every people.. Every new day my heart looks like a stone.. Hard is to ask for help, cause I run away from everything and everybody.. I don't face my fears.. Always running; but the problems doesn't disappear, only falling in a small sleep, till a day which it wakes up more furious.. Maybe someday Will I wake up for the life? Will I have peace someday with myself? What I am looking for? What I am hiding of? Of the suffering? But if I don't suffer I won't live, there will stay always an anguish that I could have done something else, be able to do something else to change myself.. I believe that even having a oportunity to start over again, it would be exacly the same way! So, what are missing on me? I don't know, I don't myself, not even who I was, who I am, or who I'm going to be. ...I'm a cheap sentimentalist, just like those books which we buy, even without knowing the end, they are all the same, and they have the same end... I must be a child, I didn’t grow enough. I didn’t grow my mind.. I lost myself at the way, and now the way to come back. A vicious circle, where I don't know where it started and where it ends. Will I have time to fix myself and not to lose myself at all? Can someone give me this answers for this question and for many others I don't know? The 'Regret' doesn't help me in nothing, just make I have pitty on myself of what I am at this moment. The cold has gone, the cold that was here when I started writting, but the cold inside myself, the anguish, the sadness, the suffer stays. Maybe someday I will have really loved someone? YES! Besides everything, I am not that cold. About my family and especial peoples, I am sure, these I loved. So, When have I left to love them? When I left to have interest in my life? I don't know... Today I believe I will survive, but I'm not sure of that.
Hoje Em Dia, Eu Trato As Pessoas, Como Eu Gostaria De Ser Tratada!
Independente Da Cor, Do Financeiro, Da Religião, Da Opção Sexual, Da Aparência, Enfim...
Já Fui Uma Pessoa Preconceituosa E Assumo Meus Erros!
E Hoje Eu Poderia Estar Arrependida!
Mas Não, Usei Um Erro Como Lição.
Porque Quando Você Sente Na Pele, O Que É Se Passar Como Uma "Estranha" À Sociedade,
Aí Que Você Enxerga Que Os Seres Humanos Não São Feitos De Grifes, De Riquezas Materiais, De "Nome", De Estilos, Etc.
E Que NADA Pode Comprar Algo Que Venha De Coração.
Por Isso,
Valorizem As Pessoas...
Apesar De TUDO;
TODAS Elas Têm Sentimentos!
Ah! E Uma Coisa É Certa:
O Interior Vale Muito Mais Que o Externo!
Pena Que São Poucos Que Têm A Qualidade De Conseguir Enxergar Além Da Matéria.